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Im Scared

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posted by Jay on September 14th, 2009 at 8:17 PM

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Some of the finest OilFieldTrash men in this world enjoy the company of a good or sometimes bad woman. You spend most of your time on the offshore drilling rigs in the North Sea. The time you spend onshore is precious and must not be squandered foolishly on ladies that are not thinking what you are. Normally, pickup lines change from place to place. My friend Al, a diver for Oceanearing, came up with the one line that has now been tested all over the world, especially with the girls from boom towns like Odessa, Texas, Aberdeen, Scotland, Lingen, Germany or Great Yarmouth, England. Most of these ladies had already heard some of the best pick up lines in the world. They had fallen for some but not all of this, lets just say hot air. This pickup line is adaptable to any OilField world-wide, with just a little bit of creativity. OilFieldTrash hands have an abundance of creativity. Some of them that travel a bunch need to be able to use this in more than just one language. I personally have witnessed this pick up line work on twins for the original user, my friend Al. Twins, that says it all. Guaranteed to work, used properly.
This line works best if you can tear up, just a little bit, before the initial contact. Wait for a lady to sit at the bar, alone. Do not let her see your face before taking the seat next to her or maybe just one seat down, but get as close as is possible without spooking her. If you get too close, shes history and gone. Forever. This aint her first rodeo. Take a real deep breath and sigh out loud. Do not look at her .Next ,whimper just a little, if necessary, whimper again. Remember the prize, eye of the tiger, go fight win, you know. Get her to ask you, Whats wrong? Dry your tears on your shirt sleeve and say only this; Im Scared, Im Lonely, I have a Dangerous Job and I just need somebody to talk to, while choking back the next set of tears. For the next few minutes just answer by shaking your head only. No eye contact, yet. Make eye contact only after she touches your forearm. Answer yes to next three questions. She will then ask if you have eaten. You have not, offer to buy hers, if she can cash an out of town check.
This information cost me a drink and I am going to charge you the same. It is been tried and tested in many languages, all over the world with incredible results. Guaranteed to work. You must follow the instructions precisely. When it works, send $5.00 cash to:, P.O. Box 361, Buchanan Dam, Texas 78609
Please send cash only, my wife will get mad if she finds out about this.

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